Page 6 Girl

I got most of the instructions for ThiefEd written out. I need to compress the Source again and post it up someplace where people can get it – like the Programmer and Level Designer. After I had written it all down, it came out to be 6 pages in Word. I was a little confused and amazed. Something that I had built, and was never intended to be shown to anybody takes 6 pages to describe the workings of. I was a little impressed with myself.
In any event, instructions + ThiefEd + Source = Thief Dev Kit. That makes Producer Eric smile since more work can happen.

– In Diary news I’ve discovered and added the blog of our Artist. Check it out, send love.

– In actual game news I figured out the issue with the animations and it turned out to be my data. I missed loading a frame. Then it crashed, which is/was unfortunate. Then I fixed it and it worked. Then, since it worked on a basic level, I changed some data to make the animations play out of order. Due to the way the system is set up, it should be able to do that. After giving me the faintest hint of hope, it too crashed after giving me a ration of nonsense variables like that the animation only had 5 frames. I’m calling shenanigans and getting back into the code.

– Finally, another rant. Recently I’ve found myself filled with a kind of despondency, a regret really. I’m seeing people graduate from high school and I’m struck by what I didn’t do – try. Until now I’ve viewed my high school years with a kind of quiet bemusement. While others tried and put forth effort, I didn’t care and skated on by middling grades. This is the cause of the regret. I wish that I had tried.
All my life I’ve been told that I’m smart. That’s not quite right. All my life I’ve been told that I am a genius. This is where the regret comes in. I missed one of the few races in my life that I could have competed at and likely won. It’s stupid really. I don’t regret the way that my life has gone since then, not at all. Instead, I missed my chance to play. I could have, and should have, been Valedictorian, graduated at the top of my class, proven my inborn abilities and understood the depths of what I am capable of doing. Instead, I didn’t, and worse, mocked those that did.
I feel very old all of the sudden. I was told once that you know you are old when your dreams are outnumbered by your regrets. Yet, I think I can fix this. I have one more chance. At University my grades there exist only there with no memory of the past. It is there I can do what I was meant to do, excel.
There is a word used for graduating students towards the top of their class – Cum Laude – with Honors. Those of superb achievement graduate Magna Cum Laude – with Great/High Honors. Those of unmatched achievement finish Sumna Cum Laude – with Highest Honors. I think can do it. Better, I still have the chance to prove it.

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