Pressure Test

I’m stressed beyond measure. It seems as if the fate of the project is balanced on the thinnest of edges, and worse, it seems as if there is nothing I can do about it.
The issue, is that The ADA has decided he needs help, now. So with just over 2 weeks to go, I need to find another member, convince them that all of this is a good idea and actually have them do some work. I don’t know how much yet, since I don’t know what The ADA will be able to accomplish, given his circumstances.
To put it in perspective, since nothing exists in the project by itself, if the animations cannot be finished in time, if the art cannot be done, if the levels are not built, if the programming isn’t right, the project has failed.
I may be overreacting, making a reactionary response to what I should be able to take in stride. I am the Producer after all. These are the kinds of things I deal with, the flurry of punches that I should be able to block.
The biggest issue, the thing that scares me, is that as of right now it is a given that the animation will not be done. If I can add another animator, I simply do not know if they will work out, or drop out like the others that have floated through our local universe. But adding another that does nothing would be a strike to this mission that I do not think it could bear. Like I said, I have stress.

– In other stuff that doesn’t make my blood vessels burst like I have the bends, I’ve mapped out the Last Level. It’s actually pretty easy as far as levels go, and clocking in at 21 screens total, it’s on the small side too. It does have a pretty good number of stairs in it, so that may take a little scripting, but I should be able to repurpose the scripting that I’ve done before. The real difficulty in the level comes from the enemies, since in 21 screens there are 7 of them, all of them I assume are Fencers. And…
…that’s great. Odd, I can’t seem to focus right now. I can’t put the sarcastic little spin on the words that I usually do here. The descriptions of my small victories and progress seem like less now, since they may be for naught.


I almost erased all of that, flicked it out of existence with a keystroke. Like sausages, the messy process of making catharsis is messy and nobody really wants to see it happen. Yet there it is, the whole bloody process laid bare for internet. I almost erased it, but this is important. Not these words mind you, I’m not so egotistical to imply that my words have intrinsic value because I wrote them, but the process of.
For those of you that don’t know, making games is fucking difficult. The sheer amount of stuff that goes on, day to day and hour to hour sometimes, is astounding. And yes, all of it is important. This is what game development can look like. Having been lucky for the last 200 listings since for the most part, this project has flowed smoothly through a development land of milks and honey, now we are at a point where it’s gotten dark. A place where I do not yet know the way.

Yet is the operative word there. The other reason that all of this is still here, is so when this is done. When we’ve passed that mythical line that separates all the shipped games from the never weres, then I have a record of the part at the start of the third act. The part that frightens the children. The part that we would have made it through.

From about a year ago:
– “Stress” noun English Root. Def : 1) To feel overwhelmed and under prepared. 2) Extreme anxiety. 3) Knowing that the next 7 hours will decide if the last year was even worth it. See also “Out, Freaking”

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